Year of the Snake: Missing Kung-Kung but Celebrating What We Do Have

Dear Aidan,

This year, the first day of Chinese New Year fell on the 10th of February. Ever since Kung-Kung passed away, Chinese New Year has become a bittersweet festive season for me. Last year was painful because Reunion Day (eve) fell on his birthday. It was not easy for Poh-Poh. And it wasn't easy for Mama. It will never be easy again, I think.

When you're older, you will understand why we never forget those we love, long after they're gone. When you're older, too, you'll learn why those who have been left behind must move on, continue to live, and celebrate what they still have.

This year of the Snake, we still have Poh-Poh, Uncle Khin, Dillon, Papa, Mama and you. So we decided to celebrate. A new 'spring'. A new year. A new chance to be with family and be better people.

"What? Better people?"

Yes, better people. We can do better than last year. We can make better choices. Like choose to be less selfish, more patient, less greedy, more generous, less whiny, more grateful.

You've been our only child for 4 years now. You're bound to think the world revolves around you. That everyone will listen to what you have to say when you wish to speak. That just because you ask nicely, you will get what you want.

But life is not about taking. It's about giving. When we take, we take what we need. When we give, we give what we can and sometimes, more.

If you only take, you will only learn to ask for more. And you will also learn to waste things.

That's why as you grow older, we'll be saying "No" a lot more. And while you may not like it (nobody likes to be disappointed), you have to understand that Papa's and Mama's job is first to protect and guide you. We're not here to just be your friends. Then again, even friends will say "No" to you, if they're true friends because some things just aren't good for you.

But Mama is veering off.

Yet, as I ponder these grown-up things in relation to you, I am grateful that you are in our lives. That our family, though small, is still loving and together. That while Kung-Kung will never get to see how you've grown, his spirit is still with us because Chinese New Year will always be a homage to him in our eyes.

I am officially a monkey...in the year of the snake!

Whaddya mean I'm not?

Here, let me show you my creds!

Monkey wins!

By homage, we had a Reunion Dinner at Uncle Khin's home with lovely, simple dishes that were loved by Kung-Kung and lovingly prepared by Poh-Poh. Then we lunched together with Uncle Khin, Poh-Poh and Dillon on the 4th day of the Year of the Snake.

It's really nice to see how close you are to Poh-Poh and Uncle Khin even though you have not seen them as often as we would've liked. And we're so happy that Dillon is reaching out to you more, too.
After the Reunion meal, the both of you had a mega battle teaming up to defeat Mama Monster before Mama and Uncle Khin switched places.

A kiss from the heart 

A very long story...

And during lunch, you sat next to Uncle Khin or otherwise held his hand while walking. Even Poh-Poh got treated to a nice, long story from you.

I hope Papa and I will do a good job raising you the right way. It's not easy as adults make mistakes too and have to say 'sorry' but we'll do our best to help you understand that 'tough' love is also love!