Year of the Snake: Missing Kung-Kung but Celebrating What We Do Have

Dear Aidan,

This year, the first day of Chinese New Year fell on the 10th of February. Ever since Kung-Kung passed away, Chinese New Year has become a bittersweet festive season for me. Last year was painful because Reunion Day (eve) fell on his birthday. It was not easy for Poh-Poh. And it wasn't easy for Mama. It will never be easy again, I think.

When you're older, you will understand why we never forget those we love, long after they're gone. When you're older, too, you'll learn why those who have been left behind must move on, continue to live, and celebrate what they still have.

This year of the Snake, we still have Poh-Poh, Uncle Khin, Dillon, Papa, Mama and you. So we decided to celebrate. A new 'spring'. A new year. A new chance to be with family and be better people.

"What? Better people?"

Yes, better people. We can do better than last year. We can make better choices. Like choose to be less selfish, more patient, less greedy, more generous, less whiny, more grateful.

You've been our only child for 4 years now. You're bound to think the world revolves around you. That everyone will listen to what you have to say when you wish to speak. That just because you ask nicely, you will get what you want.

But life is not about taking. It's about giving. When we take, we take what we need. When we give, we give what we can and sometimes, more.

If you only take, you will only learn to ask for more. And you will also learn to waste things.

That's why as you grow older, we'll be saying "No" a lot more. And while you may not like it (nobody likes to be disappointed), you have to understand that Papa's and Mama's job is first to protect and guide you. We're not here to just be your friends. Then again, even friends will say "No" to you, if they're true friends because some things just aren't good for you.

But Mama is veering off.

Yet, as I ponder these grown-up things in relation to you, I am grateful that you are in our lives. That our family, though small, is still loving and together. That while Kung-Kung will never get to see how you've grown, his spirit is still with us because Chinese New Year will always be a homage to him in our eyes.

I am officially a monkey...in the year of the snake!

Whaddya mean I'm not?

Here, let me show you my creds!

Monkey wins!

By homage, we had a Reunion Dinner at Uncle Khin's home with lovely, simple dishes that were loved by Kung-Kung and lovingly prepared by Poh-Poh. Then we lunched together with Uncle Khin, Poh-Poh and Dillon on the 4th day of the Year of the Snake.

It's really nice to see how close you are to Poh-Poh and Uncle Khin even though you have not seen them as often as we would've liked. And we're so happy that Dillon is reaching out to you more, too.
After the Reunion meal, the both of you had a mega battle teaming up to defeat Mama Monster before Mama and Uncle Khin switched places.

A kiss from the heart 

A very long story...

And during lunch, you sat next to Uncle Khin or otherwise held his hand while walking. Even Poh-Poh got treated to a nice, long story from you.

I hope Papa and I will do a good job raising you the right way. It's not easy as adults make mistakes too and have to say 'sorry' but we'll do our best to help you understand that 'tough' love is also love!

A Little Someone Turns 4

Dear Aidan,

Ah. February again. How time flies.

Like the past 2 years, Mama started to panic about your birthday plans right smack on the 1st day of the month. February has been a wet month in recent years, due to global warming. And wet months aren't necessarily fun months for birthday parties because kids should be outdoors, screaming, running about and getting some good old fashioned sun (with sunblock on, of course).

There was temptation to hold a small party at the meeting room at the condo. It's right next to the pool in case the sun decides to turn up to celebrate. And there's shelter in case the weather decides to be a wet blanket of clouds.

I decided to ask you - probably because you're almost 4 and should have a say in how or where you'd like to celebrate your own birthday. And sure enough, you said "Not the meeting room, Mama!""Why not?" "Because I had my 3-year-old birthday there." Right.

"Shoot my daddy, Zachariah!"

"Come on, let's water bomb the rest!"

"Theo, don't let Uncle Ian get away!"

To be honest, I didn't push it. Having it anywhere within the condo premises usually attracted attention from playground buddies who no longer play with you (1) because they no longer go to the playground or (2) because they've outgrown you; but who nevertheless still want to eat cake.

For Mama, smaller, intimate parties work because you get to interact with all your friends and Papa and Mama get to know their parents better.

Papa taking care of the girls

That's you, clockworks whirring in your mind!

Eventually, Mama discovered the Port of Lost Wonder, a small-scale children's club on Sentosa Island with a large Pirate Ship helming their water-play area, a green garden for educational workshops as well as a private children's party area. It also had a souvenir shop and a restaurant with both indoor and outdoor seating.

All waiting for Zachariah to pass around the Honey Stars...

Zachariah and you...having a moment together

You invited Zachariah and her little sister, Petra; Theo, Lana, Tristan, Manon, Jovan and Jo Min. And Mama invited Uncle Benny's (our regular taxi driver) kids, too. Jo Min and Jovan couldn't attend but the rest made it.

The days running up to the 16th were wet and dreary and it was pretty gloomy that Saturday morning too. But the skies held out till just after lunch which was great because that time was cake-cutting time. So it turned out to be a really amazing day. (We said lots of thank you's to God, that's for sure!)

It started with you and your friends getting into the water and not leaving for another 1.5 hours. You were climbing up the pirate ship, playing with the slides, exploring tunnels and shooting each other with water canons.

You were great - you gave out cake slices to your friends!

Handling the knife like a pro...

Mmm-mm...Lana already eyeing a second piece...

Then it was lunch time and the pizzas, pork ribs, chicken wings and sandwiches rolled in.

After that, we had a game of Simon Says where every one of you who participated received a vintage DIY styrofoam airplane as well as some plastic bubble blowers.

We then had cake  - a round Optimus Prime and Bumblebee chocolate cake with butter icing and both Lana and Theo had seconds!

Aunty Geraldine helping to assemble the airplane from Zachariah

Aunty Amandine helping Tristan to fix the styrofoam airplane

Your new toy airplane!

After that, it was time to go home. And Mama was really happy that you were all excited and cheerful.

Not sure if you remember this but Grandpa and Grandma were in Singapore too, to help you celebrate. And they had fun getting to know Uncle Ian and chatting with the other parents throughout the party.

Uncle Ian gets chatted up by Grandma!

Grandma, Papa, Grandpa...and you, featuring new toy airplane!

And you got some neat presents again: an Awesome Man superhero costume from Aunty Kea-Nai and Uncle Michel, lego from Tristan, more lego from Manon, an Optimus Prime t-shirt from Uncle Ian and Aunty Glenda and a huge toy airplane from Zach's parents. You were beaming from ear to ear.

That evening, you took out your Awesome Man costume and wore it till bedtime.

Thanks for turning me into a superhero, Aunty Kea-Nai and Uncle Michel!

On the side, however, I can't believe you're 4 already, Cheeks! I know you've got a long way to go. And yet, I'm already missing the days when you were just toddling around, speaking in broken sentences and putting your fingers into all sorts of things. But we're just so privileged to have watched you grown these past few years. You've become a sensitive, loving little boy with a mischievous and cheeky streak (why do you think we stopped calling you Eskimo Boy and switched to Mr. Cheeks? It's not just to do with your chubby cheeks!); but also a little boy who's becoming more independent and imaginative.

There are areas which we need to work on, for sure: for one, you've got to stop expecting others to follow your instructions all the time. They could find you too bossy. And secondly, "no means no" so you really mustn't 'ask for trouble' by deliberately doing the opposite when we say "no" to something; or try not to be overly upset when you can't have your way.

We all have to learn to handle disappointment. And we all need to learn to be happy with 'enough'.

I know you're learning a whole lot of things at the same time. And 4 years on Planet Earth isn't nearly long enough for you to know all the tricks there are to living. So, we'll get there together. Step by step. And with a little patience on Papa and Mama's side, as well as the effort to choose the right thing to do, we'll get there. Hey, some adults take a whole lifetime to get it!

We love you very much, Aidan. Always. Forever.

Always important, always loved :D

January 2013: A conversation about your growth

Mr. Cheeks: Mama, why are you looking at me like that?
Me: Just thinking about how you're growing up so fast.
Mr. Cheeks: Are you sad?
Me: Sad? Me? No. Okay, a bit sad but also happy. Are you going to love us when you're 10 years old?
Mr. Cheeks: I will love you even when I'm 20 years old.
Me: (Thinking I should ask again another time and record it for the future!) That would be nice. Still wish you wouldn't grow up so quickly though. 
Mr. Cheeks: But I have to grow up. 
Me: Yeah, you have to grow up.

New Year, New Rush, New Hopes

Dear Aidan,

January is always a continuation of December in this household. So are February and March.

Life gets busy because we prepare for Christmas - not just the tree or Christmas Mass but also our hearts to receive the arrival of Jesus. And as we slip into January, there are birthdays (Mama's), the start of your new school term, the planning of your birthday in February, preparations for Chinese New Year and sometimes, a new adventure.

This year, Mama wanted to do something more for the poor. Apart from donating clothes, cash and toys (you did a great job parting with some of your favourites for some kids in Kenya, by the way), I thought of spending time at a soup kitchen.

Found it! 

So the 'new adventure' took me to an industrial building at 6.30 am and introduced me to the world of fast-paced chopping, mixing, cleaning and cooking. At the Willing Hands Soup Kitchen, there are people of all ages helping out. The uncles and aunties are usually sorting out vegetables, chopping them or cooking. While the young ones break open, beat and flavour trays upon trays of eggs, pack the cooked food, sort them in trolleys and clean up.

The chefs start early

Helpers at the food-packing station

Choice #1: Fried rice with gravy chicken. Vegies haven't been added yet.

The food eventually get dropped off at old folks' homes, halfway houses as well as community centres.

The uncle who started this project cooked breakfast for a few of us. I sat down next to him and listened to the story of how he started the project. He was a businessman before. But after retiring, he decided to give back to the community. Raw ingredients are sponsored by generous donors. Volunteers come and go although there are close friends who have become regulars.

Mama was on her feet from about 7 am till 2.15 pm. The shift finished at 12.30 pm and many volunteers left at that time. I felt bad for the two domestic helpers who stayed on to clean the large woks and piles of trays and cooking utensils so I decided to stay back to help, too. It was a good.  I wanted to go out of my way and I managed to, even though you were on my mind all morning.

It is good to help people. Mama always encourages you to help your friends and teachers at school because it shows that we care. Why should we care? Because we are all connected. The world is just a very large house with many, many family members living in it. No matter what we look like, what language we speak, we are all bound together. Caring then becomes contagious. When more and more people care for one another, the world becomes a better place to live in. There would be less sad people. And less angry people.

You can care by giving away your toys to kids who have none. You can care by helping your friend up when he or she falls down. You can care by - yes, Aidan John Pereira: using less soap and water. Because while it's fun to make bubbles and spray the bathtub because "it's on fire, Mama!", it's also wasteful. Do you know some people don't even have water to drink?

Thanks for a yummy dinner, Papa and Cheeks!

Serious concentration: Money counting in progress

This month, Papa and you also surprised Mama with lots of love and gestures for my birthday. First, both of you bought a lovely Spanish dinner for me. Papa said you took $15 out of your little Barney savings box for this.

At the restaurant, you were so impatient to pay that right after we had ordered our meals, you took your share out of your little pocket and went straight up to the waiter. He looked at your $15, laughed and said, "Young man, I think you have to stay with Uncle tonight to do the dishes." Ha ha.

Uncle Michel, Uncle Ian and Lana

Dillon, Uncle Khin, Uncle Neil, Aunty Su Yin with Mama at the back

Unwrapping Mama's presents in a corner

Milo-sharing with Lana while Theo tries to get to the yummy bits at the bottom of his glass

Over the weekend, you boys also planned a surprise dinner for Mama at the Hong Kong Kitchen restaurant and invited Poh-Poh, Uncle Khin, Dillon, Uncle Neil, Aunty Su Yin, Uncle Michel, Aunty Glenda, Lana as well as Uncle Michel, Aunty Kea-Nai and Theo.

It was fun night. Halfway through the 3rd course, Mama found you and Theo on the carpeted floor, digging into my presents and unwrapping them. I think we lost about 10 incense sticks that was part of Uncle Khin's present that night.

After dinner, you and your two best friends follow Papa, Mama, Uncle Ian and Uncle Michel to the mamak stall for a hot drink. (Aunty Kea-Nai was sick and couldn't come for dinner while Aunty Glenda was busy with their new baby.) It was nice to see you sharing your Milo with Lana.

Mama, I fixed it!

This year, you were quite hands-on with the Chinese New Year decorations. I was very proud of you for helping out.

You had the best time sticking the two cardboard snakes on the door (it's the Year of the Snake this year). But before that, Mama told you a story about the 12 zodiac signs in the Chinese calendar.

When Papa got home, you two climbed onto the dining table to put up a wall banner.

This year will be the second year we celebrate the Chinese New Year without Kung-Kung.

Mama still feels the loss because not only is this his favourite festive season; it's usually close if not on his birthday. I hope you'll always remember him, too.

Mission accomplished!

As your imagination starts to take shape, you're beginning to show how far it can go with a topic that seems to recur from time to time. You call it 'Baby Music Class'. It's an imaginary place you bring up whenever you disagree with Papa and Mama and whenever you believe the impossible happens. Basically, it's baby paradise and it absolutely has nothing to do with music most of the time.

Example #1 of your usage of 'Baby Music Class':

Me: Sorry honey, the bumper cars are only for kids who are 6 years old and above...
Mr. Cheeks: Never mind, there are bumper car rides in baby music class. 
Me: Really? Do you have to pay for the rides?
Mr. Cheeks: No, it's free for children.

Example #2:

Papa: The church is so beautiful right, Mama?
Me: Yeah, quite modern.
Mr. Cheeks: I've already see this church at Baby Music Class.
Me: Wow, what else is there in Baby Music Class apart from music lessons?
Mr. Cheeks: There are pretty flowers there also. You just pick the colour you like and then go.
Me: Are the flowers ALSO free?
Mr. Cheeks: Yes, free.

Meanwhile, we've also started you on Drama Class (Monday afternoons) and Sportsball (Saturday mornings). You seem to enjoy both and it'll be interesting to see how you develop especially with Drama Class as you do switch between being confident and shy in different occasions.

Books you're reading this month: 'Daddy Lost His Head' (Quentin Blake and Andre Bouchard), 'Where the Wild Things Are (Maurice Sendak)', 'Mad at Mommy' and That's How (Christoph Niemann). That last book is an imaginative look at how a few things like steamrollers and fire-engines work (e.g elephant's trunk acts as a hose while a bird is behind the siren).

Bedtime treasures

Destination Everywhere: Year-End Holidays 2012

Dear Aidan,

You are a very fortunate little boy. Papa works hard for 2 offices so we can do what we love best - and I don't mean shopping but travelling - and that's we did last year end!

Airport at Langkawi: "Are you going to dig the sand with that, Aidan?"

Being towed about like a Mini Maharaja

"Come on in, Aidan. There are no sharks here."

Getting ready to play!

"Are they going to eat me?"

Volleyball time!

What's a holiday without some silly fun?

The pool had laughing gas

Happy Aidan, sandy Mama

First up was Tanjung Rhu in Langkawi (Malaysia) for 6 days. Followed by Christmas in Bangkok with Poh-Poh, Grandpa and Grandma as well as Uncle Brian and Aunty Angeline. Then, at the start of the new year, you and Mama tagged along for Papa's annual company trip to Hua Hin (Thailand).

I think you had a really good time. At every destination, you proclaimed each was your 'favourite holiday'.





Bangkok: It was a short stay that straddled Christmas Day. Our hotel was right smack in the middle of the city and connected to a shopping centre. From the get-go, you got presents from Grandpa, Grandma, Poh-Poh and Uncle Brian and Aunty Angeline, from superhero t- shirts (a new obsession) to trailer trucks. It was Christmas after all. But this particular season of 'receiving' became a headache for Papa and Mama when we returned to KL though. Because you started asking for presents everyday.

Going off to our next destination...Bangkok!

Dinner-time at Asiatic, a busy and colourful promenade by the river...

A photo-session after our donation to orphans

Good ice-cream at the MBK Shopping Centre next door

Kissing the feet of Baby Jesus

Christmas Mass in Bangkok

Little gifts from Santa after the Mass

Christmas Dinner at the Londoners

A picture with the Chef that took a liking to you

We noticed a few emerging traits during this month-long escapade, though. Firstly, you're becoming a friendly little boy, offering "hellos" without fear to anyone we meet or bump into.

When it was just the three of us at Tanjung Rhu, you were also fine being left at the Kids' Club on your own. (Okay, caveat: you were more comfortable when you were the only one there the first few days. But you made a new friend - James - on the third day and that was great!)

Trainspotting at the windows

Secondly, when we were with Papa's colleagues in Hua Hin, you were eager to follow Aunty Elaine and Uncle Chris as well as Uncle Akmal and Aunty Aida around. In short, you dumped us a few times and didn't look back.

Your appetite for movies is also growing and Mama has had to keep tabs on how much of it you watch. Thankfully, for now, it's about 1-1.5 hours.

There's another part to your growing up that's not the best thing however: I notice that you don't really badger Mama to head to the playground anymore. And when Mama encourages you to, you state quite strongly that you'd rather be indoors.

I guess kids change all the time as they grow up. But it's really important to be outdoors every day to get some fresh air and exercise. It's also good for your eyes.

Hopefully, when you enrol into the Sportball program next year, you'll rediscover your passion for football.

Welcome drink at the hotel lobby, Hua Hin

Mangrove tour by boat 

Making your way up the caves like a steady little man...

Can you remember this scene, Aidan?

Feeding the little doggy in the cave

Telling Aunty Elaine your long story about the falling rocks

It must be said that you do have quite an adventurous spirit. You're a kid who swings between 'being like Mama' (cautious observer, homebody, sensitive) and 'channeling Papa' (gregarious, restless, inquisitive). During our climb up the 480 m hill to the caves, you were a good sport. No complaints about tiredness or meltdowns over the unbearable heat of the day.

We were very proud of you that day.

Finally, Mama has also noticed a growing bond between Papa and you. I still remember when you were under 3.5 years old, when you gave Papa a bit of a hard time: every time he came home early to see you, you'd drag your feet to say hello or get the hug he wanted to give you. And whenever it was Papa's turn to wake you up and prep you for play-school, you'd be grumpy and teary.

These days, it's "Papa, Papa this-and-that". I'd be lying if I said I don't feel a pinch of bittersweetness. After all, it's but one sign of things to come not so far into the future. But I'm definitely chuffed to see our family grow in love on different levels.

It's the Silly Father and Spawn Show!

You'd better pay to be entertained, Mama!

What do you mean, no ice-cream today?

As with all fun and good things (and you'll learn this as you grow older), our holiday ended seemingly all too quickly. When we got back to Singapore, your new school term was already well into the second week. Getting back into the groove of a routine was tough on everybody. You were grumpy the first few mornings, too. So was Papa.

But Life is like this. We work hard. We play hard. And in between, we travel to meet the world, and the world delights us with its variety of colour and experiences. 

Meanwhile, we must find Life's joys also in the small moments, not just in special holidays. Otherwise, we would be quite miserable for most of the year.

Anyway, these are books that you're enjoying this month: The Incredible Book Eating Boy (Oliver Jeffers), Tyrannosaurus Drip (Julia Donaldson and David Roberts) and Walter the Baker (Eric Carle).

I must put in a word about books: You love reading so much that you're always trying to get Mama to read more than 1 or 2 storybooks! As it happens, you also love playing so much that there usually isn't any time to do more than 2 a night!

Your favourites this month: Tyrannosaurus Drip has been getting a lot of requests!