A Difficult Month #32

Dear Aidan,

September has come and almost gone. The Mid-Autumn Festival this year was sombre for our family. I remember just last year that we had fun at our old home in Surian Condominium, introducing you to hand-made lanterns and the idea of mooncakes. This year, with so much travel to and from KL to visit Kung-Kung (who could die), and Poh-Poh (who's lost so much weight busying herself to help Kung-Kung), celebrating has been the last thing on our minds.

It's a buggy lantern, Mama

Nevertheless, I've had to be reminded about those happier days.  Your school asked all the parents to help their kids make a lantern to bring to school for its celebration. And this meant Mama has had to go online to find instructions for an easy-to-make version. It turned out quite fun with Mama doing most of the work and your making a bit of a mess helping with the sticky tape. In the end, Mama drew some creepy crawlies onto the lantern as your term's theme in school is Insects.

Join me, Mama, get down on your knees like me, Mama!

Lately, Mama has noticed that you're developing the ability to play on your own - well, for short spurts of time, anyway. You love stringing your tiny toy cars and trains, mix them all up, and moving them along the floor around the house.

Usually, Mama has to join in halfway. Mama and her creaky knees. 

Gotta keep safe, gotta stay alive!

We also bought you a bicycle and a helmet recently. But you've not really shown an interest in wanting to learn how to pedal. To you, the concept seemed unreachable for the moment. Even with Mama getting down on my knees to physically press your feet to the pedals and turning them. The helmet's a different story, though. You find it quite important to put it on when playing with your toy cars "...to keep safe so the cars won't bang my legs!"

You're constructing sentences properly now although prepositions and conjunctions sometimes go missing. Your pronunciation and clarity are also improving. You love your building blocks now and are always trying to build a home for Mama or Papa or your furry soft toy friends. With all the exposure to repeats of short Lion King Musical videos on youtube, you've also begun to remember melodies and phrases from the song. Your first achievement: the feature song to the show. Not Circle of Life per se, but the African intro to the song (i.e "Naaaaaa...si gonya...mama di chi baba...manya hey!")

Yay, I managed!

Ta-dum-dee-dum...an underwear dayyyy

Mama has been over the moon this month too on account of one major milestone for you: you've begun to agree to pee in the toilet bowl. Finally, the pink toilet seat Papa hates, is counting for something! No sign of readiness when it comes to business #2, yet. But right now, I'm just excited about underwear
shopping!

Mmm, full of fibre!

Food wise (and I haven't written much about food lately), you love your basic tomato-sauce-based pastas with fish cake or diced baked honey-chicken; soupy udon noodles (which you call mee-mee); rice with braised ginger-and-sesame-seed-oil chicken; and grilled honeyed cod in soya sauce with white rice. Sometimes Mama makes tofu with minced meat in gravy for you but while you're okay with it, you're not exactly doing cartwheels over it. Mama still has to cook fish porridge for you thrice a week just to keep the vegie intake up. Otherwise, you'd just be having shreds of spinach, diced carrots or minced broccoli in your rice and noodles. You're beginning to like your grapes with the skin on so that's great!

I like peeling the raisins out first

You caught the sniffles too this month. But it wasn't too serious. Well, we got you to Dr. Angela's clinic in time and she found out you were on the brink of bronchitis. On the way to the clinic, after Mama had picked you up from school, we sat outside McDonalds to sip orange juice and eat the raisin bun Mama had brought from home.

We're making headway, Mama. Wait, Papa is making headway.

Bored with the simple 4-6 piece puzzles, you've also graduated to the giant floor ones. The first set we bought's called Animals on the Farm and you get suck a kick out of doing it over and over again. You do get a bit bossy sometimes, though, when you're too lazy to find the piece you need.

Mama has also begun to take your Chinese lessons seriously. Now, Mama notes the term's theme and learns all related words they're teaching you, so I can revise them with you at home! You're usually unfocused for these impromptu lessons but hey, it's okay. When you're a little older, I'll structure sit-down sessions with you. Not to make a genius out of you, of course, but to stretch your ability to sit still and focus. (Apparently, little boys don't like being still for too long. Makes sense, really!)

One day, I'll read to you, Mama

This month, Mama bought more books from Popular Bookstore. They're nice stories and they can be read so quickly. Once you learn to read, they'll be great practice books for you! Meanwhile, Aunty Joanna also got a Dr. Seuss one for you. We had lunch with her one day (she's from BBGS - Mama's school - and what's more, the School Captain before Mama's year!) and she asked you to pick a book. Ok, truth is, you picked a book and some crayons but Aunty Joanna was nice to buy you both!

This one makes me giggle!

On Kung-Kung's front, Mama's been keeping in touch with him about his progress. So far, he's responding well to chemotherapy which is a good thing. His red blood cells are dropping though so Dr. Christina, the oncologist, has instructed him to eat more beef. There'll be a scan end of the month to see if the tumour has shrunk. So we must really storm Heaven with prayers for God to keep him in His good care, for His healing.

Month #31: Coping, Getting Away, and Coming Home

Dear Aidan,

The reality of Kung-Kung's illness has started to sink in. But Mama hasn't been able to sit down to dwell much on how serious his condition is. On one hand, Mama's time has been divided between looking after you and researching on pancreatic cancer. On another, my mind has been preoccupied with questions and conundrums. For example, we have to figure a way out to be there for him and Poh-Poh without disrupting your life too much. After all, we may have to move back to Kuala Lumpur for a while; what will happen to your schooling here then? How will I also look after you and yet drive Kung-Kung to and from the hospital and run errands for Poh-Poh? Aunty E.E, your nanny is in the midst of moving to Klang, a good hour away from Cheras, so it wouldn't be nice to bother her with babysitting you on the days when Mama's extra busy.

It's a month of flux, dilemmas and uncertainty for sure and we must be calm in order to do things right. I'm mainly talking about myself, I suppose. Mama isn't very good at multi-tasking unlike most women. The good news is, we've booked our flights back to KL.

Kung-Kung's explaining to Papa that the bushes are strictly to be left alone...

It's funny how even as these troubles are coming to taint our life, new friendships bloom. At the airport waiting lounge, while you were playing at the little indoor playground, a little girl joined you and the two of you played quite well together. Mama finally spoke to her mummy and discovered that she was from BBGS (Mama's school) too. It turns out Aunty Po Li's a year Mama's junior and we're all on the same flight back to KL. We exchanged numbers and then on the flight, you wanted to sit next to Jadyn, so Mama took you to her seat and she offered you a little char siew pastry. Later, when we touched down, you followed her and her parents about and decided to hold her hand. Looks like, you've made a new friend!

A new friend, Mama!

When we flew back, it was good to see that Kung-Kung was in relatively good spirits. His abdomen looked a little bloated now. But he said the discomfort was bearable. Chemotherapy to kill the cancer cells had started and Uncle Khin had shuttled him to the hospital last week when he was up to help. 

We spent what would've been our week-long Bali trip together in Cheras, helping Kung-Kung and Poh-Poh around the house and driving Kung-Kung for another session of chemotherapy.

Ah, a hard-day's work, completed!

Ok, where can I hide this?

I must say that you've been on your best behaviour on this trip, despite the constant moving about. It's not easy for a 2 year old to adjust to such changes, so Mama and Papa are really proud of you.

In fact, it was really nice to see you do your part too when we mowed the lawn for Kung-Kung one evening. 

You helped place the cut grass into the bin bags and even tried your hand at raking them. At least until you decided to do some grass-mound-hopping.

At night, after dinner, you and Papa helped with the dishes while Mama mopped the floor or washed your clothes. Of course, half the time, you put a little too much detergent on the plates and cutlery and Papa had to rinse them quite a bit.

Papa: Whoa, enough detergent there, honey
Aidan: No-o-o, Papa. We need more...

Aunty Katy (Kung-Kung's sister) also dropped by for a visit with Uncle Felix (Aunty Katy's husband), Uncle Andrew (brother) and Aunty Wai Kuen (Uncle Andrew's partner). She taught me some hei gung moves that could help Kung-Kung take in more oxygen as the cancer cells apparently hate oxygen. The next day, Mama showed Kung-Kung the moves. It doesn't look like he's very keen on doing too many things as he's already spending 40 minutes every day just on breathing exercises. Meanwhile, poor Poh-Poh is in a military, get-it-done mode. Sometimes, people become this way to cope with fear. I'm sure she's trying not to panic by burying herself in service.

Love Kung-Kung

Love Poh-Poh, too!

One afternoon, we decided to take you out for lunch as you'd been cooped up in the house for too long.  We had lovely Japanese food at Mizu, Bangsar Village. You really love a good, simple bowl of soupy udon noodles so we ordered that and some teriyaki chicken for you which also slurped up. It's nice for Mama to see that you and Papa are getting close. I must admit that it has been tough for Papa to have you insist on Mama doing things for you.

When we got back to Singapore, Mama had to sort out a nasty bacterial rash on your back. Dr. Angela reckons you could've caught the bugs in the communal paddle-pool at your school. Thank goodness for Foban which Dr. Anglea prescribed. It takes time to work but I can see that the rash has stopped spreading.

I'm liking this big, wooden bench, Papa

Mama, I feel embarrassed

To cheer you from the misery of the itch, we took a weekend off to spend at Sentosa Island. Papa decided that we all needed a nice, short break to ease the tension of what we were all going through.

In addition, we thought you might enjoy the Songs of the Sea light and fountain musical which actually takes place outdoors by the sea.

Upon arrival, we checked into the Movenpick Heritge Hotel for the night as rooms were on offer. While waiting for Papa to register, we did silly things around the lobby, like make faces at the shiny elevator doors to see our reflections.

My body says this ranks about 9/10...

The room we got was comfy. Papa was happy with the Nespresso machine while I just liked the look of the bed. I think you and I think alike because the first thing you did was dive onto it and lie down with your Chew-Chew.

We decided to lunch at the in-house restaurant and the food wasn't bad at all. You and Mama shared a noodle and we all had bites of your vanilla ice-cream for dessert.

Where's my ice-cream?

In a good mood, you started a conversation with the waitress about the Merlion and managed to tickle her with your quips.

Waitress: Can you see the Merlion?
Aidan: There! There are people in the mouth!
Waitress: Yes, you can go up too if you like to check out the view.
Aidan: No, thank you. If I go into the mouth, the Merlion will eat me!

Funny smiles now, Papa! 1, 2, 3...

After lunch, we returned to the room for a bath and a nap. (Well, you had to be coerced into having a nap but once you settled into bed, you were knocked out in minutes.)

In the late afternoon, we walked about to explore the artist's space beneath the Merlion (we didn't go up though). It was a special buskers' week and there were many funny mime artist as well as ventriloquist and magician shows to watch.

After catching a few performances, we had a dinner of fried rice and stir-fried vegetables at a colonial-looking restaurant up the hill. You seemed to like the morning glory because for the first time in my life (and yours), you actually asked Mama to cut you more vegetables! Let it not be a phase, Jesus!

It looks like the fish I eat in my porridge!

At about 8.30 pm, we got tickets for the tram ride to Siloso Beach to catch the musical at 9 pm. It started to drizzle so the show attendants gave out raincoats to the audience. I think you really enjoyed the colours and the drama of the light effects and fountains in different shapes.

That koh-koh must be getting very wet

Whoa, explosions! Bombs!

After it ended, we got some tit-bits from the 7-11 convenience store and took a tram back to our hotel. We decided to do some scribbles together lying on our tummies. And then you got up, walked to the phone and 'made a call to God' regarding Kung-Kung. It was a pretty sweet thing to do though we're not really sure you understood exactly what you were doing. Anyway, God works in mysterious ways. Cliched but true.

The next day, we spent 2 hours at Underwater World just looking at fishes, turtles, jellyfish, sharks and other undersea creatures. It was fun watching the deep-sea fish swimming overhead in the tunnel. We finished our visit with a sea lion and dolphin show. We then returned to the hotel, checked out and got home in time for Mass.

These are not for eating

Hey that toothy one keeps looking at us!

I know how to clap, too

Mr. Dolphin is such a good boy

Mama, jelly fish in Chinese is called...'sui mu'!

Last weekend, we finally met up with Lana's parents, too - Aunty Glenda and Uncle Ian. They had wanted to meet up ever since we passed Lana's birthday present through the teachers because we couldn't attend her party due to our trip back to KL.

She's from my school, Mama!

We had dinner at Nex and it was really fun because the conversation flowed naturally. You and Lana also exchanged toys quite easily. And on the train back, both of you had a giggly old time, pulling faces and hand actions.

Sing along now, Mama, Papa!

This month, Mama's been exploring numbers as well as small alphabets with you. You've got a bit of an antsy behind as you can't sit still or focus for more than 20 minutes. I guess that'll just have to do for now. Meanwhile, some single-story books Mama bought at a bargain book store while in Kuala Lumpur are Teddy's Red Nose and the Babe, the Flying Pig.

Along with a second-hand Bambi, these two books cost just RM7
(Only at Cheras Leisure Mall)

This is Not How You Make Friends, Aidan

Dear Aidan,

You're 2 and a half years old now and it's heartwarming to observe that you're interested in making friends. We're also real proud that you're gaining confidence in making the first move. Even with the bullies in the playground who are thrice your size. However, there are ways to initiate friendship. And there are also different types of kids out there. Some want to be friends. Others just want your toy. Still others just want you to be a practice block for their budding tae kwan do kicks. The girls need a softer approach. The boys don't mind the occasional lion roar in their face. The older kids play rougher. The younger ones can't kick a football quite just yet. So don't get mad just because you've got the makings of Wayne Rooney in your right leg. Before Mama lists down the ways to make friends, here's the list of what not to do. I know this takes the fun out of play-time but seriously, the objective's to have friends to grow up with, and learn from.  Not have kids running helter-skelter away from you because "Godzilla is going to kill us."

How Not to Make Friends:

1. Kiss boys even if you've had loads of fun and are happy with them. Only deep-sea boy squids do that to each other. And frogs. And some dragonflies. And lately, a few penguins.

2. Kick a ball at an 18-month-old and expect an unbroken volley. The little guy sees a flying projectile coming his way, he runs the opposite direction because he wants to live.

3. Tell a group of girls that Simba wants to borrow their pink scooters.

4. Tell a group of girls that Simba wants to borrow their meant-for-5-year-old pink scooters.

5. 'Block' another kid from looking at 'your worm' in the grass. Worms are public property and anyone can have a look, ok?

6. Attempt to jump onto any tike car, scooter, bicycle you see lying on the floor in the playground. These things have owners. And no, the owners are not all called Aidan John Pereira. 

7. Tell some kid to sit on a fountain just so you can watch the water spray turn into a gush. That's not called being friendly. That's called being bossy.

8. Ask some 11-year-old to play with you and expect him to. He's probably afraid he'll accidentally kill you.

9. Ask some bully with a large bat to play with you because he'd probably kill you and we wouldn't be sure if it was by accident or not. 

10. Ask the maids to watch you kick the ball 'so high' because you want an appreciative audience. They need to keep an eye on the kids under their care and you don't look like any of them.

11. Doing your own '1,2,3...get set go' because you take ages to say it right and the other kids just want to run.

Despite all this, I know you'll do fine. Because your little heart is trying to get to the right place. And I know I'm responsible for making that happen. It was nice the other day when you went up to Xe Min after she got tackled and hurt by a bully, and gave her a hug. And it's always amazing to hear you say "Cannnn!" in a sing-song voice when a kid wants to play with your ride-on toys or cart. It wasn't always this way, of course, but watching you develop these little skills as we grow together is just sublime. 

Oh one last thing: Licking the playground floor is also not how you make friends, honey. All the other kids tend to follow which just means their mums and maids could put you on the blacklist. That's a whole lot of kids not attending your future birthday parties, son!