"I'll Be Your Friend, Mr. Fish"

Dear Aidan,

Here's a video of you responding to Mama who's pretending to be a lonely fish in an aquarium.

Now, don't get all cool and say, "That's not me! You swapped me with someone else, Mama!" just because you're demonstrating your sweet side here.

The fact is, you're a sweet little fellow.

Well, you're a lot of other things too - silly, funny, cheeky, stubborn, persistent, chatty, etc - but here you're Aidan the Sweet Little Fellow.

And we love it! ;-)

Celebrating the Mid-Autumn Festival and Other New Developments

Dear Aidan,

First of all, congratulations on your first poo in the toilet bowl!

It has been months of coaxing and encouragement (with a bit of firmness thrown in, in the last 2 months).  You can be pretty strong-willed at times and I know it was tough for you to accept that your bottom will NOT fall into the toilet bowl along with your poo. Nevertheless, you decided for yourself that you'd try and look - you did it!

Meanwhile, this month has been about helping you understand that manners are important and therefore must be consistent. You can't just say "Good morning" when you feel like it you know. Or "Thank you."
Or "Please". After a few weeks of reminders, however, you're getting better. Although you do try to cheat.

We've noticed also that you're a very curious little fellow and like to get your hands into everything. Especially when we're in a rush to get somewhere. No wonder they warned us about the "Dilly-Dally" years. So on top of the challenge of putting some manners into you, we're also teaching you to: (1) Listen to instructions (2) Accept disappointment when you can't get what you want.

It must be a tough life being a preschooler though, with so many can'ts and don'ts. But you know, we do give you a lot or room to do stuff, be silly, be a kid. Like jump on puddles. Roll your cars on disabled ramps or other such slopes. Mix chili sauce with soup. You just need to understand that there are no negotiations for some things.

Like being rude.

Like deliberately going against what we ask you to do or not do - especially when it comes to your safety.

Like chucking your t-shirt into the toilet bowl.

Here's hoping, that with time and growth and - yes, me nagging - you'll get the difference someday!

Sparkling fun!

We celebrated the Mid-Autumn Festival with Lana and her parents this time round. Aunty Glenda invited us to her aunt's house which had a large playground just outside across the street.

Many relatives came by so there were a few kids to play with. Aunty Erica brought many sparklers so you had your first taste of sparklers thanks to her. In fact, you loved them so much that your lantern got left at the side of the climbing station for most of the night.

Luckily, we'd already done our lantern walkabout with Papa at the condominium a few nights back.

Lovely old-fashioned glass-paper lanterns

Big handles for easy access

Loving Papa's hair there

No painting session is complete without getting your hands dirty!

Your weird but beautiful fish. 

You're getting really good at drawing and colouring. I must say that we've come a long way from the days when you refused to let Mama guide your hand, as you were insistent that you knew how to do it. For a long time, it seemed like you knew how to do everything. Even shoot a ball into the basket. Of course, it was all down to interpretation, wasn't it? Your "car" was just multiple swirls those days. But it was a car to you. And your fish was two long lines that didn't meet. Ha ha ha.

I'm preparing to defeat mean people, Mama!

We also think you're a natural performer as you'd get into performance mode easily and put on character voices. You love doing poses, too. And you like jumping on stages and platforms to dance or jump around.

Your sense of humour is also becoming keener as you'd laugh at scenes in your animated movies that you never used to laugh at. Well, there's also the occasional diaper-or-pants-on-the-head trick that you pull off.

We're thinking of enrolling you into a drama or music class but we also don't want to bog you down with activities unless you ask for them. With your imagination though, it'd be a waste not to encourage and nurture it, that's for sure. I mean, you even made a large 'pizza' with water and imaginary flour, cheese and milk the other day.

Now, I like THIS sorta hat, Mama

One large pizza coming up!

Your love for animated movies is growing and I'm sure I'll have to put a cap on it soon.

Right now, you have a collection that includes 'Iron Giant', 'Dinosaurs', 'Toy Story', 'Cars', 'Ratatouille', 'Beauty and the Beast', 'How to Train a Dragon', 'Kung Fu Panda', 'Puss in Boots', 'Fox and the Hound', 'Lilo and Stitch' and 'Lion King'.

I love how your sense of empathy and compassion is growing too. I'm always proud when you help others or give Papa and  kisses when we bump ourselves and go 'Ouch'.

It's important not to just think about yourself, honey. Because lots of people are less fortunate than we are. And many kids just don't have what you have. So if you have something you like - and not just something you have to spare or don't like anymore - it's good to offer it to someone.

My favourite movies of all time!

To help you in your general discomfort with water (well, you like playing with water and splashing about in the pool but you're very particular about water getting into your nose or in your eyes although you're getting better at coping with it), Mama got you a book entitled 'The Deep End'. It's about a little girl who's learning to face her fear of water by taking swimming lessons.

It's a really cute book because she and her toddler class imagine that the bigger kids actually swim into the sinkhole at the deep end, through a passage way underneath the streets where people live, before coming out on the other end into the sea.

We're not expecting you to be an Olympic champion but hopefully, you'll learn to be open about swimming lessons.

It's just water!

Old Friends, Nice Getaway

Dear Aidan,

Some time in August, we returned for our occasional visit to Poh-Poh's in KL. And while there, we did a new thing: We spent a few days at Grandma's and Grandpa's as well.

Mama has always been awkward about the idea of staying there because I'm so used to being in my home. I also don't like having to say No or disagree with old people and back in my home, my mum (Poh-Poh) understands me enough that we're both at peace around each other (apart from the occasional nagging from her - something you'll agree I do when you're a little older).  But this time, I told myself that Papa needed to be with his parents too as they too are getting on in age.

During our stay, you fell in love with one of Grandma's big bolsters. You name him Biggie and wanted to bring him everywhere, even the coffee shops.

Two happy bunnies with their Ribena

Decorating dessert with Aunty Anne's help

We managed to pay a visit to Aunty Anne and Jaden in between. And you really had a blast. First there was a yummy lunch of fried rice (made by Jaden's Amuma) and chicken drummettes in BBQ sauce. Then there was Ribena! And then! There was even cake! A lovely light Victoria sponge cake which Aunty Anne let you boys take turns icing and decorating with cream and strawberries. In between all the feasting, of course, was Jaden graciously sharing his toys and playing with you.

It was a really fun afternoon.



When we returned to Singapore, we took you to Sentosa Island for a short weekend break. Papa and  knew that we were soon going to leave for our own holiday to Bali and we wanted to make it up to you in advance.


You enjoyed playing on the beach, showering Papa's hair with mud and building little castles. What got you super excited, though, was the Skyride combined with The Luge, a toboggan-like ride down the slopes after ascending the hill on the open-air swing-on-a-pulley (essentially that's what the Skyride was to me!).

In fact, you loved it so much, we came back to Beach Road Station after dinner for a 3rd ride, just before they stopped the rides for the night.

Getting the shampoo in 

The Luge - The Ultimate Holiday Favourite

Just Papa and me...

You're beginning to settle from your pre-August phase of tantrums and whininess - well, you're still playing rough and throwing/kicking your toys sometimes despite many repetitive reminders, and for those, trips to the Corner are still taking place.

The Teachers at school have mentioned also that you're starting to be more protective of who you share your toys with when you used to be more generous. I know you like sharing with the bigger kids because, maybe, you trust them with your stuff more, but it's good to show the younger ones what sharing's all about.

Another thing I've noticed: You've begun to want back every single toy you offer to your friends (like Theo for example), just seconds after you've lent them away. What's not right is, you'd tell them they can play with something else and when they do and have fun doing it, you'd rush to take that back too, insisting that you now want to play with it.

When you're well-behaved though, you're really good! So when the chain of your first bike (Tornado) came undone for the final time, we didn't hesitate to get you a new 'Big-Boy' bicycle.  Well, it was also a gift to celebrate the half-way mark of your 3rd year on Planet Earth.

Meanwhile, here are more books that you're enjoying. (By the way, I love how you would suddenly realise I'm using story-time to help you recognise alphabets and their sounds because you'd turn around while sitting on my lap and ask, "Are you trying to make me learn, Mama?")

Fun classics from Mama's time

Empathy: Eskimo Boy Explains to Mika Why He's Been Absent

Dear Aidan,

For a long time, you've been very observant with Mama's feelings. For instance, from as early as last December (while Kung-Kung's passing was still fresh), you caught me crying during Mass and asked me why. You then promptly grabbed a wet wipe to wipe away my tears.

There have been many times too when you'd react to my Ouches by stroking the affected area and then kissing or blowing it.

Your teachers at playschool have also said that you'd alert them if a younger child was crying or being bullied.

Recently, however, you've been taking empathy a level up. You'd offer your toy cars to a lone kid playing at the playground. Or, as Teacher Corley said at the Little Gym, you'd - upon noticing that the teachers aren't getting a response - help rally an unwilling child to participate in the lesson.

This is a tender part of your personality that we love and cherish. It makes us real proud of you. It makes us feel all gooey inside even though it may teeter too closely towards Uncool.

It never ceases to amaze us when you extend your loving trait to your soft toys though. Well, when you're not busy practising kung-fu kicks ON them, anyway. Like two days ago, you asked me where Mika the Meerkat was as you'd not played with him for a while. Upon finding him, you had a heartfelt chat with him explaining why you hadn't been able to play with him much.

It was hilarious. (C'mon, you have to agree, too!)

Now, this is not to say that you're all devoid of cheekiness. This video will show you just how sneaky you can be when you've got something up your sleeve. (In this case, trying to squeeze a free night in Papa's and Mama's bed.)

June: Don't Like Papa Month

Dear Aidan,

It's been a nice few months of loving Papa, choosing Papa to change, wash, shower and read to you, and missing Papa when he's at the office.

Mama's little man, no diggety, no doubt!

But lately, you've been breaking down into tears and moody a lot more often. Sometimes, once we step into the house after school, you'd throw a tantrum because I said 'No' to cupcakes or another gummy 'Snake'. Sometimes it could be over something simple like not wanting to pee in the toilet bowl. But when you realise that Mama is unhappy with your behaviour, you'd want to cling to me even more. It'd be Mama for underwear/diaper changing, showering, story-time, feeding, putting on shoes and socks...and even, EVEN getting a tissue to wipe your mouth after a meal or snack!

Meanwhile, Papa would get lots of rejections in the form of whiney, irritated "Don't want Papa to (insert activity)". Sometimes this would be accompanied by the shoving away of Papa's hand.

We've also noticed that you're still demonstrating some form of separation anxiety when we drop you off at school, even though it has been a year already. It's mild - as you don't break down in tears.  Rather, you'd become moody at the halfway mark to school and become nervous as we approach the entrance of your school where a teacher is normally stationed to administer health-checks.

You would also hug us a few times and kiss us lots, not wanting to let go.

Therefore, it has been a pretty tough month of managing your feelings and Papa's. After all, it can be quite frustrating for one parent to have to do all the work and the other to be rejected for wanting to help.

"That's not a gun!" "Yes it is, Mama...boom, boom, boom!"

The past two months have also been months of guiding you into the wonderful, warm and diplomatic world of TACT. "I don't like you" is not the way you get someone off your back, honey. I know your friend at school, Justin, says it. And I wish he didn't because it's rude and therefore it hurts. What's more, I know you look up to Justin because he's a cool cat (I've seen you guys interacting) and speaks well enough like you (to give you meaningful conversations). But no, you don't have to take up everything he does. Pick what's good to follow, drop what's not.

Miao Laoshi says both you and Justin are good at helping her and teacher Su rally up the other kids and help clear up the toys after play. So it's great that you're following Justin in this good habit. But really, "I don't like you" and "I want, I want"(accompanied by snatching) are not habits you want to adopt. Unless you don't want friends as you get older.

They are certainly not habits Papa and Mama will accept at home either. Because (1) You can't always have what you want; sometimes what you want isn't good for you (2) You gotta respect your parents and all other adults - so if you're unhappy with us (or any friend for the matter), you should simply say "I'm angry and I'm not ready to talk to/play with you".

(Also, SHOUTING, while fun, is not a good way of getting friends too. They'll just think you're angry or crazy. )

Your teachers have always praised you for being one of the few kids who share willingly and help the younger ones who are upset by giving them hugs and alerting the teachers to step in. In fact, your teachers at The Little Gym have noted that you're helpful with the kids who aren't participating and eager to follow instructions, too. I really hope you keep up with that. Because they are such amazingly good traits about you.

"Listens to instructions well...and rallies his friends to try..." says the teachers. Really? Our son?

Having said all this, there have been many lovely moments with you, too. For instance, you and Mama would have a really tough day of whininess and non-cooperation. But at night, after tucking you in bed, you'd reach out to hold my hand and repeat "Good night, Mama, I love you, see you soon" a few times.

Beef and fish dinners...yay! 

Sometimes also, you'd see Mama busy bustling about and offer to help me pick up and throw away all the bits and pieces from our arts and craft project. You're also a willing helper when it comes to unloading groceries. Or, you'd be so happy to receive a treat for finishing your vegetables that you'd be all butter and honey in our hands.

As for socialising, I'd say you're more confident approaching little strangers to befriend - even if it's for a short period of time. Usually these phenomena occurs at restaurants. We're just surprised you haven't been shooed away yet, given the way you sometimes barge in on someone's lunch.

"He-llloo!"

After a few exchanges, little Gabriel is game for a pix together. What a nice boy!

We always remember that you're a good kid at heart. That God has given us a smart and caring child. And we simply hope that with consistent guidance and teaching, your weaknesses will grow into strengths. We're not betting for an angel of course. Just a monkey with less mischief and more heart.

This month, we didn't get any new books. Instead, we took you to the national library on the 4th level of the Nex Shopping Mall. It was a first for all of us. And we spent an hour there, picking out books to read together and to borrow. You liked the ones about Motorcycles, Trains, Elephants and Giraffes so we took those home with us. Hopefully, we can keep up with the visits and along with them, your interest in books!

Aidan: 'These ones can zoom into tunnels" Papa: "Err, yeah, sure they can!"

Lots of books for the little ones

Aidanism #253:

Phonics gone wrong:
Me: Aidan, what's the sound of A?
Aidan: Mama, Mama, b-b-ball!
Me: Yes, good. But what's the sound of A?
Aidan: S-s-sound!
Me: Aidan, can you please focus? What's the sound of A?
Aidan: F-f-focus! 
Me: Ai-dannnnnnnn!
Aidan: A-a-aidan!
Me: Yes! That's the sound of A!
Aidan: Y-y-yes!

May for Madness

Dear Aidan,

May began with Jaden's birthday. He had a pool party attended by quite a few familiar faces from the playground like Xe Min and Joaquin. You didn't get to see him or play with him much as he was roaming about. But Joaquin's dad, Uncle Mark who lives on 3rd floor with his family, took pains to play with you and a few other boys. This happened after a bunch of you copied each other and asked for 'swords' and 'guns' from the balloon-shaper guy.

Arghhhhh! I'm going to defeat you...

...But first, quick smile for the camera!

I think this party alone sealed your fascination for guns. With the Max Liquidator experience (Phuket trip) still fresh on your mind, you swung your 'pink sword' vigorously and threw your voice around like a barking army commander. There was a lot of pointing, jumping and posing.

At one point your 'sword' hit a 4 year old girl queueing up to ask for a 'flower bracelet' balloon and she barked at you like an old lady.






Then at night, after dinner at Uncle Khin's house, Dillon brought out all his homemade swords, helmets and shields to start a game of battle of some sort.

Needless to say, you were beside yourself with excitement. After 45 minutes of chasing, pretend-dueling, hiding and screaming, it was time to go home and you were actually sad to go.

Yeah, we are destroyers of the universe. Watch your furniture.

I can just see how the rougher side of play will feature in our home in the next few weeks. Too many great examples to follow at this party! That's why Mama has whipped out the whole hippie 'Love is more powerful than guns' symbol for you to pick up. You know the heart sign you make with your fingers? Anyway, take-up has been a bit slow for this one.

There are times, however, when you're just a sweet little guy searching for a friend to run your Matchbox cars up and down restaurant walls and windows. Or a sweet tooth looking for treats because you've eaten all your vegetables or done the impossibly yucky - like finish your barley water.

While dining alfresco at PS Cafe in Dempsey one Saturday night, you spotted a Norwegian girl with her family inside through the large floor-to-ceiling windows separating our tables. She smiled at you and you smiled back. She was a lot older, mind you. About 12 maybe. Anyway, Mama and Papa encouraged you to play with her. So you and I went inside and asked if she'd like to have one of your cars.

She's so nice huh, Mama?

The next 15 minutes saw you two having fun rolling the cars here and there. At least it looked fun for you as you were giggling a lot. She looked after you too, holding you when you climbed onto the ledge.

The Musketeers are resting before another round of sweat-inducing play!

May also saw Theo and Lana coming over for dinner with their parents. Mama cooked grilled honeyed chicken with broccoli and carrots for you and your friends. And then it was pasta with sage and garlic chicken drumsticks plus  a Japanese salad for the mommies and daddies. Whenever the three of you get together, there's just mayhem. Especially when the tent comes out. Lots of screaming, lots of attention-deficit-order driven toy switching, lots of mess...but lots of fun too!

Wake me up when it's lunch time...

Your sense of humour is developing, too. While strolling around Ikea, you participated in every silly game of pretense Papa and Mama embarked on. You were sporting.

In fact, even at lunch in the cafeteria, you put on a pretty good demonstration of just how tasty your dessert was. You closed your eyes and went "Mmm...mmm...mmm."

Then there was the time when you decided to wear your diaper...like a hat. Clown!

Look, I'm starting a new fashion line here. Show some support!

We're doing alphabets, 2 at a go these nights. There would be alphabet recognition and phonics. You're pretty good now recognising big and small letters and you're grasping their sounds pretty well. So far. I can't for the life of me imagine how to make alphabet learning fun apart from matching them to items lying about the house. For a boy with an ant-filled butt, 20-30 minutes of sitting still seems like torture. Every 2 minutes, you would get up and fiddle with a toy from your toy-box or ask a totally unrelated question or spot something crawling over your toe.

That would be H for hat, yes!

It does get frustrating trying to bring your focus back to the task at hand. But I'm keeping it all in for now. After all, you're only 3.

Books of the month include: Eating the Alphabet, The Giving Tree and The Tiny Seed. The latter is a poignant story about a generous apple tree who watches a young boy grow up from loving and playing with her to becoming an old man with other distractions. A tree who always had something to give even until she is but a stump. Right now, you're not quite aware of the depth of the story but Mama is able to use the story to teach you about giving and taking, about unconditional love.

Q-q-q-...for quince!

Small can be powerful too

Don't forget to love back

Aidanism #217:

Aidan: Mama, Kung-Kung's your father.
Me: Yes.
Aidan: And I'm your son.
Me: That's right.
Aidan: You're my wife.
Me: No-o-o. I'm Papa's wife. But I'm your Mama.
Aidan: Why?
Me: Why what, hon?
Aidan: Why aren't you my wife?

Aidanism #217:

Me: Aidan what does a wife do?
Aidan: (busy playing with toy hammer)
Me: Aidan, if I'm your wife, what would I do?
Aidan: Cook mee-mee for me. Sleep with me...kick mean people out of the house.

Aidanism #219:

Me: Hunny, Mama's friends asked me to ask you: What do husbands do?
Aidan: Husbands don't do anything yet.

Eskimo Boy Takes Tioman Island

Dear Aidan,

In the middle of May, we took a trip to Tioman Island with Aunty Li-Hsian and Uncle Srihari. We had booked this holiday a while back and we were extra excited about it for one reason: Papa and Mama would be snorkeling for the first time!

Yummy welcome drinks

What's snorkeling again? Well, it's pretty much just floating about the sea with your face in the water to admire the beautiful corals and underwater creatures found in crystal-clear, clean waters. You get a snorkeling mask, of course, the kind with a tube that sticks out so you can breathe.

We got a villa after some trouble booking two separate rooms called the 'Cliff Sarangs'. Just as well.

The villa is 2 floors with an upper and lower room and it has a little pool and daybed surrounded by trees. Aunty and Uncle were nice to give us the upper room which was larger.

The walk from the jetty to our room was very leafy and covered by the shade provided by the jungle canopy. When we arrived, you inspected the bathroom, jacuzzi as well as the balcony. Your first words, "I really like this room!" Meanwhile, Papa and Mama found Uncle and Aunty relaxing in the pool downstairs. They had arrived earlier.

The jetty-cum-Italian-restaurant

A leafy walk to our villa, the Penghulu's House

Lush! And you had your own Heavenly Bed too

The Sauna we used only once

Grand...pretty much sums up our home for 4 days

As it was our first day, we took things slow and easy. So we brought out some snacks and chit-chatted for a bit as the sun slowly made its way to the horizon. Some monkeys came out to snoop around for free bites so we had to hide the crisps and the candies.

The dip was refreshing...and freezy for you

Dinner was at the Italian eatery out on the pontoon. The breeze was great and it was really relaxing sipping on lemongrass drinks and dining on pastas, breads and pizzas.

Rock on, Lunch!

On the second day, we hung around the pool area again but Papa, Uncle and Aunty went snorkeling near the beach after lunch. You and I napped and then watched 'Puss in Boots' while waiting for them to return.

Bottoms up, guys!

When you woke up, you had a little fit because you wanted to go out to sea to see Papa but I didn't let you. I had to explain that you can't reach them unless you could swim.

Lazing about on a sunny morning

After calming down, we put together some puzzles and when they all came back, we sat by the pool, munched on peanuts and then watched a DVD called 'SeeFood' before heading out for dinner. Dinner this night was at the Thai restaurant. You were happy eating your rice and chicken fillet. And afterwards, you tried pineapple for the first time and liked it.

Mama's going to hang out with some fishes

Our last day began with a late breakfast. After that, we packed up, got our snorkeling gear and went out by boat to the dive spots on the way to Coral Island. At the first stop, our boat halted next to a white pontoon about 8 by 8 ft in size. The driver and hotel staff (James) assigned to accompany us on our trip were very lovely. James said he would watch out for you while we went into the water. And guess what, even though you're not exactly a water baby, you wanted to be on the pontoon and watch us gear up.

Best part? You didn't throw a fit or cry even though we all had to leave you on the pontoon for a good 45 minutes. I think James did a really good job making sure you didn't fall in but were entertained. You had a small bag of bread to feed the fish and that managed to keep you happy.

Hopefully, there are no sharks nibbling at our feet

We made another stop after that before heading off to Coral Island for our lunch picnic. The island was secluded but the beach was pristine white while the waters were crystal green emerald! Just like in the travel magazines! A few huge monitor lizards came out trying to get a free lunch halfway. Right when you were in the middle of a fit after being scolded for kicking sand too hard and splattering our lunch as a result. In the midst of tears, you manage to warn us by pointing at them, "Mama, I don't like the lizards!" Despite stomping and loud shoos, the reptiles were brazen enough that we moved our lunch back to the boat.

Our fun boat

 After devouring most of our Caesar salad and fried rice, you and Papa decided to play by the shore. I think you really enjoyed yourself on this trip even though essentially, there was nothing actually happening for you. Maybe the adventure of the advancing lizards was enough of drama.

Don't know about you guys but I think we're being watched by some fat lizards

Hey Mama, we're having a bath, join us!

I'll fill up this bottle and Papa won't sense the difference

We returned home after that, warm and brown from sunshine and tired from snorkeling. We all napped and woke up to have a calming dip in our pool. And then before we knew it, it was our last dinner at Japamala Resort.

Uncle James managed to scoop you up

Papa and Mama were a bit sad to leave. The staff at Japamala had been so nice to us - Uncle James was sweet to you, too. And our slow, languid days just catching up with each other, resting and eating good food were really pleasant. More than that, this would be our last holiday before our December break as a family. But what stood out for us on this trip, among everything else, was just what a great sport you were the day we went snorkeling. Proud of you, Cheeks!

Our Japamala crew