June: Don't Like Papa Month

Dear Aidan,

It's been a nice few months of loving Papa, choosing Papa to change, wash, shower and read to you, and missing Papa when he's at the office.

Mama's little man, no diggety, no doubt!

But lately, you've been breaking down into tears and moody a lot more often. Sometimes, once we step into the house after school, you'd throw a tantrum because I said 'No' to cupcakes or another gummy 'Snake'. Sometimes it could be over something simple like not wanting to pee in the toilet bowl. But when you realise that Mama is unhappy with your behaviour, you'd want to cling to me even more. It'd be Mama for underwear/diaper changing, showering, story-time, feeding, putting on shoes and socks...and even, EVEN getting a tissue to wipe your mouth after a meal or snack!

Meanwhile, Papa would get lots of rejections in the form of whiney, irritated "Don't want Papa to (insert activity)". Sometimes this would be accompanied by the shoving away of Papa's hand.

We've also noticed that you're still demonstrating some form of separation anxiety when we drop you off at school, even though it has been a year already. It's mild - as you don't break down in tears.  Rather, you'd become moody at the halfway mark to school and become nervous as we approach the entrance of your school where a teacher is normally stationed to administer health-checks.

You would also hug us a few times and kiss us lots, not wanting to let go.

Therefore, it has been a pretty tough month of managing your feelings and Papa's. After all, it can be quite frustrating for one parent to have to do all the work and the other to be rejected for wanting to help.

"That's not a gun!" "Yes it is, Mama...boom, boom, boom!"

The past two months have also been months of guiding you into the wonderful, warm and diplomatic world of TACT. "I don't like you" is not the way you get someone off your back, honey. I know your friend at school, Justin, says it. And I wish he didn't because it's rude and therefore it hurts. What's more, I know you look up to Justin because he's a cool cat (I've seen you guys interacting) and speaks well enough like you (to give you meaningful conversations). But no, you don't have to take up everything he does. Pick what's good to follow, drop what's not.

Miao Laoshi says both you and Justin are good at helping her and teacher Su rally up the other kids and help clear up the toys after play. So it's great that you're following Justin in this good habit. But really, "I don't like you" and "I want, I want"(accompanied by snatching) are not habits you want to adopt. Unless you don't want friends as you get older.

They are certainly not habits Papa and Mama will accept at home either. Because (1) You can't always have what you want; sometimes what you want isn't good for you (2) You gotta respect your parents and all other adults - so if you're unhappy with us (or any friend for the matter), you should simply say "I'm angry and I'm not ready to talk to/play with you".

(Also, SHOUTING, while fun, is not a good way of getting friends too. They'll just think you're angry or crazy. )

Your teachers have always praised you for being one of the few kids who share willingly and help the younger ones who are upset by giving them hugs and alerting the teachers to step in. In fact, your teachers at The Little Gym have noted that you're helpful with the kids who aren't participating and eager to follow instructions, too. I really hope you keep up with that. Because they are such amazingly good traits about you.

"Listens to instructions well...and rallies his friends to try..." says the teachers. Really? Our son?

Having said all this, there have been many lovely moments with you, too. For instance, you and Mama would have a really tough day of whininess and non-cooperation. But at night, after tucking you in bed, you'd reach out to hold my hand and repeat "Good night, Mama, I love you, see you soon" a few times.

Beef and fish dinners...yay! 

Sometimes also, you'd see Mama busy bustling about and offer to help me pick up and throw away all the bits and pieces from our arts and craft project. You're also a willing helper when it comes to unloading groceries. Or, you'd be so happy to receive a treat for finishing your vegetables that you'd be all butter and honey in our hands.

As for socialising, I'd say you're more confident approaching little strangers to befriend - even if it's for a short period of time. Usually these phenomena occurs at restaurants. We're just surprised you haven't been shooed away yet, given the way you sometimes barge in on someone's lunch.

"He-llloo!"

After a few exchanges, little Gabriel is game for a pix together. What a nice boy!

We always remember that you're a good kid at heart. That God has given us a smart and caring child. And we simply hope that with consistent guidance and teaching, your weaknesses will grow into strengths. We're not betting for an angel of course. Just a monkey with less mischief and more heart.

This month, we didn't get any new books. Instead, we took you to the national library on the 4th level of the Nex Shopping Mall. It was a first for all of us. And we spent an hour there, picking out books to read together and to borrow. You liked the ones about Motorcycles, Trains, Elephants and Giraffes so we took those home with us. Hopefully, we can keep up with the visits and along with them, your interest in books!

Aidan: 'These ones can zoom into tunnels" Papa: "Err, yeah, sure they can!"

Lots of books for the little ones

Aidanism #253:

Phonics gone wrong:
Me: Aidan, what's the sound of A?
Aidan: Mama, Mama, b-b-ball!
Me: Yes, good. But what's the sound of A?
Aidan: S-s-sound!
Me: Aidan, can you please focus? What's the sound of A?
Aidan: F-f-focus! 
Me: Ai-dannnnnnnn!
Aidan: A-a-aidan!
Me: Yes! That's the sound of A!
Aidan: Y-y-yes!

May for Madness

Dear Aidan,

May began with Jaden's birthday. He had a pool party attended by quite a few familiar faces from the playground like Xe Min and Joaquin. You didn't get to see him or play with him much as he was roaming about. But Joaquin's dad, Uncle Mark who lives on 3rd floor with his family, took pains to play with you and a few other boys. This happened after a bunch of you copied each other and asked for 'swords' and 'guns' from the balloon-shaper guy.

Arghhhhh! I'm going to defeat you...

...But first, quick smile for the camera!

I think this party alone sealed your fascination for guns. With the Max Liquidator experience (Phuket trip) still fresh on your mind, you swung your 'pink sword' vigorously and threw your voice around like a barking army commander. There was a lot of pointing, jumping and posing.

At one point your 'sword' hit a 4 year old girl queueing up to ask for a 'flower bracelet' balloon and she barked at you like an old lady.






Then at night, after dinner at Uncle Khin's house, Dillon brought out all his homemade swords, helmets and shields to start a game of battle of some sort.

Needless to say, you were beside yourself with excitement. After 45 minutes of chasing, pretend-dueling, hiding and screaming, it was time to go home and you were actually sad to go.

Yeah, we are destroyers of the universe. Watch your furniture.

I can just see how the rougher side of play will feature in our home in the next few weeks. Too many great examples to follow at this party! That's why Mama has whipped out the whole hippie 'Love is more powerful than guns' symbol for you to pick up. You know the heart sign you make with your fingers? Anyway, take-up has been a bit slow for this one.

There are times, however, when you're just a sweet little guy searching for a friend to run your Matchbox cars up and down restaurant walls and windows. Or a sweet tooth looking for treats because you've eaten all your vegetables or done the impossibly yucky - like finish your barley water.

While dining alfresco at PS Cafe in Dempsey one Saturday night, you spotted a Norwegian girl with her family inside through the large floor-to-ceiling windows separating our tables. She smiled at you and you smiled back. She was a lot older, mind you. About 12 maybe. Anyway, Mama and Papa encouraged you to play with her. So you and I went inside and asked if she'd like to have one of your cars.

She's so nice huh, Mama?

The next 15 minutes saw you two having fun rolling the cars here and there. At least it looked fun for you as you were giggling a lot. She looked after you too, holding you when you climbed onto the ledge.

The Musketeers are resting before another round of sweat-inducing play!

May also saw Theo and Lana coming over for dinner with their parents. Mama cooked grilled honeyed chicken with broccoli and carrots for you and your friends. And then it was pasta with sage and garlic chicken drumsticks plus  a Japanese salad for the mommies and daddies. Whenever the three of you get together, there's just mayhem. Especially when the tent comes out. Lots of screaming, lots of attention-deficit-order driven toy switching, lots of mess...but lots of fun too!

Wake me up when it's lunch time...

Your sense of humour is developing, too. While strolling around Ikea, you participated in every silly game of pretense Papa and Mama embarked on. You were sporting.

In fact, even at lunch in the cafeteria, you put on a pretty good demonstration of just how tasty your dessert was. You closed your eyes and went "Mmm...mmm...mmm."

Then there was the time when you decided to wear your diaper...like a hat. Clown!

Look, I'm starting a new fashion line here. Show some support!

We're doing alphabets, 2 at a go these nights. There would be alphabet recognition and phonics. You're pretty good now recognising big and small letters and you're grasping their sounds pretty well. So far. I can't for the life of me imagine how to make alphabet learning fun apart from matching them to items lying about the house. For a boy with an ant-filled butt, 20-30 minutes of sitting still seems like torture. Every 2 minutes, you would get up and fiddle with a toy from your toy-box or ask a totally unrelated question or spot something crawling over your toe.

That would be H for hat, yes!

It does get frustrating trying to bring your focus back to the task at hand. But I'm keeping it all in for now. After all, you're only 3.

Books of the month include: Eating the Alphabet, The Giving Tree and The Tiny Seed. The latter is a poignant story about a generous apple tree who watches a young boy grow up from loving and playing with her to becoming an old man with other distractions. A tree who always had something to give even until she is but a stump. Right now, you're not quite aware of the depth of the story but Mama is able to use the story to teach you about giving and taking, about unconditional love.

Q-q-q-...for quince!

Small can be powerful too

Don't forget to love back

Aidanism #217:

Aidan: Mama, Kung-Kung's your father.
Me: Yes.
Aidan: And I'm your son.
Me: That's right.
Aidan: You're my wife.
Me: No-o-o. I'm Papa's wife. But I'm your Mama.
Aidan: Why?
Me: Why what, hon?
Aidan: Why aren't you my wife?

Aidanism #217:

Me: Aidan what does a wife do?
Aidan: (busy playing with toy hammer)
Me: Aidan, if I'm your wife, what would I do?
Aidan: Cook mee-mee for me. Sleep with me...kick mean people out of the house.

Aidanism #219:

Me: Hunny, Mama's friends asked me to ask you: What do husbands do?
Aidan: Husbands don't do anything yet.

Eskimo Boy Takes Tioman Island

Dear Aidan,

In the middle of May, we took a trip to Tioman Island with Aunty Li-Hsian and Uncle Srihari. We had booked this holiday a while back and we were extra excited about it for one reason: Papa and Mama would be snorkeling for the first time!

Yummy welcome drinks

What's snorkeling again? Well, it's pretty much just floating about the sea with your face in the water to admire the beautiful corals and underwater creatures found in crystal-clear, clean waters. You get a snorkeling mask, of course, the kind with a tube that sticks out so you can breathe.

We got a villa after some trouble booking two separate rooms called the 'Cliff Sarangs'. Just as well.

The villa is 2 floors with an upper and lower room and it has a little pool and daybed surrounded by trees. Aunty and Uncle were nice to give us the upper room which was larger.

The walk from the jetty to our room was very leafy and covered by the shade provided by the jungle canopy. When we arrived, you inspected the bathroom, jacuzzi as well as the balcony. Your first words, "I really like this room!" Meanwhile, Papa and Mama found Uncle and Aunty relaxing in the pool downstairs. They had arrived earlier.

The jetty-cum-Italian-restaurant

A leafy walk to our villa, the Penghulu's House

Lush! And you had your own Heavenly Bed too

The Sauna we used only once

Grand...pretty much sums up our home for 4 days

As it was our first day, we took things slow and easy. So we brought out some snacks and chit-chatted for a bit as the sun slowly made its way to the horizon. Some monkeys came out to snoop around for free bites so we had to hide the crisps and the candies.

The dip was refreshing...and freezy for you

Dinner was at the Italian eatery out on the pontoon. The breeze was great and it was really relaxing sipping on lemongrass drinks and dining on pastas, breads and pizzas.

Rock on, Lunch!

On the second day, we hung around the pool area again but Papa, Uncle and Aunty went snorkeling near the beach after lunch. You and I napped and then watched 'Puss in Boots' while waiting for them to return.

Bottoms up, guys!

When you woke up, you had a little fit because you wanted to go out to sea to see Papa but I didn't let you. I had to explain that you can't reach them unless you could swim.

Lazing about on a sunny morning

After calming down, we put together some puzzles and when they all came back, we sat by the pool, munched on peanuts and then watched a DVD called 'SeeFood' before heading out for dinner. Dinner this night was at the Thai restaurant. You were happy eating your rice and chicken fillet. And afterwards, you tried pineapple for the first time and liked it.

Mama's going to hang out with some fishes

Our last day began with a late breakfast. After that, we packed up, got our snorkeling gear and went out by boat to the dive spots on the way to Coral Island. At the first stop, our boat halted next to a white pontoon about 8 by 8 ft in size. The driver and hotel staff (James) assigned to accompany us on our trip were very lovely. James said he would watch out for you while we went into the water. And guess what, even though you're not exactly a water baby, you wanted to be on the pontoon and watch us gear up.

Best part? You didn't throw a fit or cry even though we all had to leave you on the pontoon for a good 45 minutes. I think James did a really good job making sure you didn't fall in but were entertained. You had a small bag of bread to feed the fish and that managed to keep you happy.

Hopefully, there are no sharks nibbling at our feet

We made another stop after that before heading off to Coral Island for our lunch picnic. The island was secluded but the beach was pristine white while the waters were crystal green emerald! Just like in the travel magazines! A few huge monitor lizards came out trying to get a free lunch halfway. Right when you were in the middle of a fit after being scolded for kicking sand too hard and splattering our lunch as a result. In the midst of tears, you manage to warn us by pointing at them, "Mama, I don't like the lizards!" Despite stomping and loud shoos, the reptiles were brazen enough that we moved our lunch back to the boat.

Our fun boat

 After devouring most of our Caesar salad and fried rice, you and Papa decided to play by the shore. I think you really enjoyed yourself on this trip even though essentially, there was nothing actually happening for you. Maybe the adventure of the advancing lizards was enough of drama.

Don't know about you guys but I think we're being watched by some fat lizards

Hey Mama, we're having a bath, join us!

I'll fill up this bottle and Papa won't sense the difference

We returned home after that, warm and brown from sunshine and tired from snorkeling. We all napped and woke up to have a calming dip in our pool. And then before we knew it, it was our last dinner at Japamala Resort.

Uncle James managed to scoop you up

Papa and Mama were a bit sad to leave. The staff at Japamala had been so nice to us - Uncle James was sweet to you, too. And our slow, languid days just catching up with each other, resting and eating good food were really pleasant. More than that, this would be our last holiday before our December break as a family. But what stood out for us on this trip, among everything else, was just what a great sport you were the day we went snorkeling. Proud of you, Cheeks!

Our Japamala crew

Eskimo Boy Spotted in Phuket

Dear Aidan,

A week ago, we travelled to Cape Panwa, Phuket, with Uncle Jimmy (Papa's office partner), Aunty Jynet and Evan (Uncle Jimmy's son).

Mr. Dolphin wants to know when the plane is arriving

He'd booked a little beach-front villa for the 4D3N stay. You were very excited about the trip. And made sure I packed your pool gear as well as Mr. Dolphin. After a short 1h 40m plane ride (I guess the SilkAir plane's a lot faster than those FireFly ones), we arrived at the Phuket airport. Our taxi ride was an hour long as the Waterside Villa is up north. "Are we there yet?" became your mantra all the way through. Wonder where you picked that up from.

Waterside Resort in the sheen of Evening's light

We got to Waterside by 4 pm. The villa was amazingly spacious. The ground level was where the hall, kitchen, dining area, patio and the pool were. The bedrooms were on the second floor. As Uncle Jimmy and his family hadn't arrived yet, we decided to splash around first. After paddling about with the wake-board, we walked to the beach and decided to bury Papa under the sand. This activity did not last long as your level of patience is still pretty much hovering above the 0 mark. Ok, maybe 1, to be fair.

At around 6 pm, Uncle Jimmy arrived with loads of bread, milk, soft drinks, sausages, bacon, pasta and cup noodles to fill our pantry. He'd also brought Evan's pool-pump-guns - "Max Liquidators" as they were called. It was getting dark though, so we didn't get a chance to test them out in the pool.

Dinner on the first night wasn't so great. It was at a beachside open-air stall 50 metres away from our Villa. Your tummy wasn't doing well either. You pooped in your underwear and it was watery. The night ended after we watched 'Lilo & Stitch' on the DVD player.

You're not a speedboat are you, Mama?

Over the next 3 days, you surprised us by spending a lot of time in the pool. You tried kicking around with the wakeboard without any help. And even managed to jump into the pool in what we've come to call "The Canonball". Must be due to the "Impress Evan" factor. We found a cosy little road-side stall just up the slope from our Villa for our lunch needs and had yummy fried rice and iced fruit smoothies there. The little stall overlooked the Cape and made for a lovely place to chill out. The two sisters who ran the place thought you were a cute little guy and gave us mangoes for free. They thought you were a girl, though.

Looks like a great day for a dive in the pool!

The night before we left, we visited a night market. Mama stopped to buy hair clips and you insisted we all wore one each. That's one way to emasculate Papa. You enjoyed a stick of grilled pork balls and a cup of buttered corn. Our last stop was a convenience store to grab some ice-cream. You skidded right outside the store and fell, losing your ice-cream to the wet, mossy cement floor. But you were a brave little boy and didn't cry despite scraping your arm.

Not exactly haute couture...

The night ended with 'Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol'. Mama's not too sure it's a good idea for you to watch anything with guns involved. Especially since you've been showing your fascination with the hand-gun (hand forming a gun) after two policemen visited your playschool for Occupation Week. But we figured this would be a once-only incident for you. (Read: We all really wanted to watch a DVD that wasn't 'Lilo & Stitch'!)

You were sad when we had to leave the next day. But knowing you were now braver in the water, we were excited to console you with good news: Another trip to the sea-side was coming up soon, this time to Tioman Island with Uncle Srihari and Aunty Li-Hsian. And this time, Papa and Mama were going to snorkel for the first time in our lives!

3 years, 2 months: Master Chef, Junior Swimmer

Dear Aidan,

April comes with more showers. And they would come at irregular times, too. Mama likes hearing the sound of light rain dancing on the tarmac at night, or knocking on window panes to announce their presence. Mama's a rain sort of person. But kids don't like rain. Rain gets in the way of outdoor fun. Rain makes the slides and the climbing frame at the playground slippery. And that's not good because it means Mama would say "Be careful" a lot and try to intervene a lot, too.

Need...help...getting into this monstrosity

Something's not right here

It's okay, it's just my silly Mama, Jayden

Still, we managed to squeeze a few new activities into your days and weekends (usually before the sky bursts apart into torrents of rain). And due to the fact that you're less sleepy these days when you get home from play school, Mama has also had to think of new twists to the regular activities that you do engage in. Like, painting the branches and twigs you pick up along the walk to play school in the morning. 

Looks like Papa, talks like Papa, but it's really Papa Monster! Shoot, guys!

One weekend, Jayden spotted you fooling around in the pool with Papa and Mama and came to join us. You borrowed his goggles and he borrowed your floats. Then later, two brothers who knew him called us to join them in the bigger pool and Papa ended up being attacked by water guns all round.

Let's see, what abomination can I make today...

We also made chocolate chip cupcakes together one afternoon. You like pouring things from one container into another anyway. And mixing sauces together at restaurants. So Mama thought it'd be a good time to start you on some simple baking recipe. This time, you tried your hand at flour sifting, cracking eggs, measuring the sugar, butter, milk and flour, and stirring.

I'm happy to report for chocolate-chip-pouring duties

Mmm...

You were extremely excited to be in charge of pouring the chocolate chips into the batter. But the first batch ended up in your mouth.

Mama had to pry the bag from your hands. And even then, you tried t wrestle another handful into your little 'cave'. The cupcakes turned out nicely, though. And we had them for tea.









About 2 weeks ago, we flew back to visit Poh-Poh. It wasn't a long trip and we spent a lot of time together painting with your finger-paints and fooling around with your bicycle and the new tricycle Poh-Poh bought as a belated birthday present. For the painting sessions, you and Papa made yourselves some aprons using dustbin bags. Quite ingenious, really.

Bring her over, Papa - the car wash is open today

Papa also let you help him assemble the trike and you've been obsessed with washing it using the garden hose. One morning, on the way back from the playground, you couldn't resist pushing it down the steep alley we took home; it veered into the drain and almost broke. Of course, you got a lecture all the way home and once we arrived, sentenced to The Corner.

Your love for bursting spontaneously into song continued this month. One night, after dinner, you decided to sing gibberish using the Amazing Grace melody. Apart from the fact that you practically yelled the song out, you were rather expressive, employing sweeping hand gestures for the first time.

We got into reading three brand new books this month: Little Rabbit Lost, Only in My Dreams, and the Lion and the Mouse. The first is a delightful little story about a young rabbit who thinks he's all that once he turns 4 years old. He dashes off ahead of his family when they spend his birthday at a fun-fair, and ends up lost. Mama bought it because you're a little like Little Rabbit these days - so eager to grow up and not have to hold hands at the escalators or walk closely with us. The second book is about Julius the monkey and his dreams, while the third is gorgeously illustrated version of the age-old classic that comes with no narrative, allowing us to tell the story of a lion's fateful meeting with a mouse, according to what we see in each page.

Story-time is such a favourite time for you and for us. It's nice when you're paying close attention and are fully engaged in the story, asking about this and that, and pointing to details Papa and Mama miss out sometimes.

I can fly in my dreams

Aidanism #205:

1.20 pm:
Aidan: I'M GOING TO SHOOT YOU. BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

1.45 pm:
Aidan: Don't look at me. I'm getting ANGRYYYYYYYYYY.

2.20 pm:
Aidan: The monsters are coming, Mama. They're going to spit fire on you. *Hawwwwwwwwwwww*

6.10pm:
Aidan: ROARRRRRR. Don't talk! I'm a lion and I'm angRYYYYYYYY.

10 pm (in bed):
Aidan: Mama, please hug me and kiss me. I'm injured. No, I'm dead. You have no more son.

Aidanism #206:

Aidan: Mama, look, it's a jet plane!
Mama: Oh yup, that's a fighter jet.
Aidan: It defeats monsters.
Mama: Well, they help defend Singapore from enemies. You know, the mean guys who attack us.
Aidan: The pilots come down and get into a taxi to go to our house so they can defeat the mean people.
Mama: Well, I suppose that's a good idea. If they shoot from the plane at the mean people in the houses, they might kill both good and mean people.
Aidan: Yeah! And we are the good people!