June: Don't Like Papa Month

Dear Aidan,

It's been a nice few months of loving Papa, choosing Papa to change, wash, shower and read to you, and missing Papa when he's at the office.

Mama's little man, no diggety, no doubt!

But lately, you've been breaking down into tears and moody a lot more often. Sometimes, once we step into the house after school, you'd throw a tantrum because I said 'No' to cupcakes or another gummy 'Snake'. Sometimes it could be over something simple like not wanting to pee in the toilet bowl. But when you realise that Mama is unhappy with your behaviour, you'd want to cling to me even more. It'd be Mama for underwear/diaper changing, showering, story-time, feeding, putting on shoes and socks...and even, EVEN getting a tissue to wipe your mouth after a meal or snack!

Meanwhile, Papa would get lots of rejections in the form of whiney, irritated "Don't want Papa to (insert activity)". Sometimes this would be accompanied by the shoving away of Papa's hand.

We've also noticed that you're still demonstrating some form of separation anxiety when we drop you off at school, even though it has been a year already. It's mild - as you don't break down in tears.  Rather, you'd become moody at the halfway mark to school and become nervous as we approach the entrance of your school where a teacher is normally stationed to administer health-checks.

You would also hug us a few times and kiss us lots, not wanting to let go.

Therefore, it has been a pretty tough month of managing your feelings and Papa's. After all, it can be quite frustrating for one parent to have to do all the work and the other to be rejected for wanting to help.

"That's not a gun!" "Yes it is, Mama...boom, boom, boom!"

The past two months have also been months of guiding you into the wonderful, warm and diplomatic world of TACT. "I don't like you" is not the way you get someone off your back, honey. I know your friend at school, Justin, says it. And I wish he didn't because it's rude and therefore it hurts. What's more, I know you look up to Justin because he's a cool cat (I've seen you guys interacting) and speaks well enough like you (to give you meaningful conversations). But no, you don't have to take up everything he does. Pick what's good to follow, drop what's not.

Miao Laoshi says both you and Justin are good at helping her and teacher Su rally up the other kids and help clear up the toys after play. So it's great that you're following Justin in this good habit. But really, "I don't like you" and "I want, I want"(accompanied by snatching) are not habits you want to adopt. Unless you don't want friends as you get older.

They are certainly not habits Papa and Mama will accept at home either. Because (1) You can't always have what you want; sometimes what you want isn't good for you (2) You gotta respect your parents and all other adults - so if you're unhappy with us (or any friend for the matter), you should simply say "I'm angry and I'm not ready to talk to/play with you".

(Also, SHOUTING, while fun, is not a good way of getting friends too. They'll just think you're angry or crazy. )

Your teachers have always praised you for being one of the few kids who share willingly and help the younger ones who are upset by giving them hugs and alerting the teachers to step in. In fact, your teachers at The Little Gym have noted that you're helpful with the kids who aren't participating and eager to follow instructions, too. I really hope you keep up with that. Because they are such amazingly good traits about you.

"Listens to instructions well...and rallies his friends to try..." says the teachers. Really? Our son?

Having said all this, there have been many lovely moments with you, too. For instance, you and Mama would have a really tough day of whininess and non-cooperation. But at night, after tucking you in bed, you'd reach out to hold my hand and repeat "Good night, Mama, I love you, see you soon" a few times.

Beef and fish dinners...yay! 

Sometimes also, you'd see Mama busy bustling about and offer to help me pick up and throw away all the bits and pieces from our arts and craft project. You're also a willing helper when it comes to unloading groceries. Or, you'd be so happy to receive a treat for finishing your vegetables that you'd be all butter and honey in our hands.

As for socialising, I'd say you're more confident approaching little strangers to befriend - even if it's for a short period of time. Usually these phenomena occurs at restaurants. We're just surprised you haven't been shooed away yet, given the way you sometimes barge in on someone's lunch.

"He-llloo!"

After a few exchanges, little Gabriel is game for a pix together. What a nice boy!

We always remember that you're a good kid at heart. That God has given us a smart and caring child. And we simply hope that with consistent guidance and teaching, your weaknesses will grow into strengths. We're not betting for an angel of course. Just a monkey with less mischief and more heart.

This month, we didn't get any new books. Instead, we took you to the national library on the 4th level of the Nex Shopping Mall. It was a first for all of us. And we spent an hour there, picking out books to read together and to borrow. You liked the ones about Motorcycles, Trains, Elephants and Giraffes so we took those home with us. Hopefully, we can keep up with the visits and along with them, your interest in books!

Aidan: 'These ones can zoom into tunnels" Papa: "Err, yeah, sure they can!"

Lots of books for the little ones

Aidanism #253:

Phonics gone wrong:
Me: Aidan, what's the sound of A?
Aidan: Mama, Mama, b-b-ball!
Me: Yes, good. But what's the sound of A?
Aidan: S-s-sound!
Me: Aidan, can you please focus? What's the sound of A?
Aidan: F-f-focus! 
Me: Ai-dannnnnnnn!
Aidan: A-a-aidan!
Me: Yes! That's the sound of A!
Aidan: Y-y-yes!

May for Madness

Dear Aidan,

May began with Jaden's birthday. He had a pool party attended by quite a few familiar faces from the playground like Xe Min and Joaquin. You didn't get to see him or play with him much as he was roaming about. But Joaquin's dad, Uncle Mark who lives on 3rd floor with his family, took pains to play with you and a few other boys. This happened after a bunch of you copied each other and asked for 'swords' and 'guns' from the balloon-shaper guy.

Arghhhhh! I'm going to defeat you...

...But first, quick smile for the camera!

I think this party alone sealed your fascination for guns. With the Max Liquidator experience (Phuket trip) still fresh on your mind, you swung your 'pink sword' vigorously and threw your voice around like a barking army commander. There was a lot of pointing, jumping and posing.

At one point your 'sword' hit a 4 year old girl queueing up to ask for a 'flower bracelet' balloon and she barked at you like an old lady.






Then at night, after dinner at Uncle Khin's house, Dillon brought out all his homemade swords, helmets and shields to start a game of battle of some sort.

Needless to say, you were beside yourself with excitement. After 45 minutes of chasing, pretend-dueling, hiding and screaming, it was time to go home and you were actually sad to go.

Yeah, we are destroyers of the universe. Watch your furniture.

I can just see how the rougher side of play will feature in our home in the next few weeks. Too many great examples to follow at this party! That's why Mama has whipped out the whole hippie 'Love is more powerful than guns' symbol for you to pick up. You know the heart sign you make with your fingers? Anyway, take-up has been a bit slow for this one.

There are times, however, when you're just a sweet little guy searching for a friend to run your Matchbox cars up and down restaurant walls and windows. Or a sweet tooth looking for treats because you've eaten all your vegetables or done the impossibly yucky - like finish your barley water.

While dining alfresco at PS Cafe in Dempsey one Saturday night, you spotted a Norwegian girl with her family inside through the large floor-to-ceiling windows separating our tables. She smiled at you and you smiled back. She was a lot older, mind you. About 12 maybe. Anyway, Mama and Papa encouraged you to play with her. So you and I went inside and asked if she'd like to have one of your cars.

She's so nice huh, Mama?

The next 15 minutes saw you two having fun rolling the cars here and there. At least it looked fun for you as you were giggling a lot. She looked after you too, holding you when you climbed onto the ledge.

The Musketeers are resting before another round of sweat-inducing play!

May also saw Theo and Lana coming over for dinner with their parents. Mama cooked grilled honeyed chicken with broccoli and carrots for you and your friends. And then it was pasta with sage and garlic chicken drumsticks plus  a Japanese salad for the mommies and daddies. Whenever the three of you get together, there's just mayhem. Especially when the tent comes out. Lots of screaming, lots of attention-deficit-order driven toy switching, lots of mess...but lots of fun too!

Wake me up when it's lunch time...

Your sense of humour is developing, too. While strolling around Ikea, you participated in every silly game of pretense Papa and Mama embarked on. You were sporting.

In fact, even at lunch in the cafeteria, you put on a pretty good demonstration of just how tasty your dessert was. You closed your eyes and went "Mmm...mmm...mmm."

Then there was the time when you decided to wear your diaper...like a hat. Clown!

Look, I'm starting a new fashion line here. Show some support!

We're doing alphabets, 2 at a go these nights. There would be alphabet recognition and phonics. You're pretty good now recognising big and small letters and you're grasping their sounds pretty well. So far. I can't for the life of me imagine how to make alphabet learning fun apart from matching them to items lying about the house. For a boy with an ant-filled butt, 20-30 minutes of sitting still seems like torture. Every 2 minutes, you would get up and fiddle with a toy from your toy-box or ask a totally unrelated question or spot something crawling over your toe.

That would be H for hat, yes!

It does get frustrating trying to bring your focus back to the task at hand. But I'm keeping it all in for now. After all, you're only 3.

Books of the month include: Eating the Alphabet, The Giving Tree and The Tiny Seed. The latter is a poignant story about a generous apple tree who watches a young boy grow up from loving and playing with her to becoming an old man with other distractions. A tree who always had something to give even until she is but a stump. Right now, you're not quite aware of the depth of the story but Mama is able to use the story to teach you about giving and taking, about unconditional love.

Q-q-q-...for quince!

Small can be powerful too

Don't forget to love back

Aidanism #217:

Aidan: Mama, Kung-Kung's your father.
Me: Yes.
Aidan: And I'm your son.
Me: That's right.
Aidan: You're my wife.
Me: No-o-o. I'm Papa's wife. But I'm your Mama.
Aidan: Why?
Me: Why what, hon?
Aidan: Why aren't you my wife?

Aidanism #217:

Me: Aidan what does a wife do?
Aidan: (busy playing with toy hammer)
Me: Aidan, if I'm your wife, what would I do?
Aidan: Cook mee-mee for me. Sleep with me...kick mean people out of the house.

Aidanism #219:

Me: Hunny, Mama's friends asked me to ask you: What do husbands do?
Aidan: Husbands don't do anything yet.